Get Back Together Forever

Why have I put this in quotes? Simple. There’s such a lot being written at present about “how to win an ex back“, “how to get a girl back“, “how to win a guy back” and every possible combination of terms. And much of this “advice” is coming from people who really have no idea of how to actually go about something as delicate and emotionally charged as this.

You can often distinguish between this phoney advice, from someone whose only interest in the subject is to make as many sales of one of the various ebooks available online as they can, and someone who genuinely wants to help you.

The phoney advice is nearly always generic, i.e. is dispensed as if everyone were the same and would react in exactly the same way to any given set of circumstances. For example, several sites I’ve visited recently advise anyone who has recently been “dumped” (what a horrible term!) by their partner to make no attempt to contact them for several days at least in order to “give them space”.

This may be good advice in many cases, but it cannot in every case, and possibly not in your own. It all depends on so many variables – what kind of person your ex is, what kind of person you are, what kind of relationship you had, where each of you live, whether you work together, and a host of other things.

The trouble is that we are all human, and we all have our individual idiosyncrasies. Thank goodness we do, for that makes us truly human, and without it life would be intolerable. But it means that a course of action on your part to start the process of restoring the relationship might work for one kind of person but not for another.

Remember that when you read someone else’s take on what you should do if your lover has left you, they may be only interested in funnelling you through to the sales page of the ebook they are selling. That itself doesn’t necessarily render their advice of no value, but also bear in mind that much of what you read will be generic advice, good on the face of it but which may be quite inappropriate to your own broken relationship or the emotional make-up of your ex.

Only you can be the judge of that.

Philip Gegan

What if your ex wants to get back together, but you’re only just getting over being dumped by him or her the last time around?

What do you do? It’s tempting to welcome them back and look forward to a resumption of your former relationship, but is that a good idea?

Enough of the questions, now for some answers.

In this situation your ex is either showing they have discovered their error and can’t wait to get back with you and put the unfortunate episode behind them, or they’re treating you with a lack of respect and showing no sympathy for what you’ve recently been through at their behest.

You have to consider the kind of person they are. If they are wholly genuine in their outlook on life and attitude towards other people then you may feel inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt, but even then you should still seek to discuss with them first a way of avoiding a replay of what has so recently happened.

And if they are not quite so straightforward, then you may feel it best to at least keep them waiting a while so you can think about things. At worst you may think it unwise to risk putting yourself through the wrangle again.

You need to think clearly. What was it that brought you both together in the first place? Was it something a little more than just physical attraction? What was it that caused the split? Why does your ex now want to get back together?

Ask your ex these questions, and ask yourself as well. See how their answers compare with your own. If you take your ex back where do you see the relationship going from then onwards? Discuss it with your friends. How would they see it? Would they be supportive or would they think you were mad?

Good luck if you do decide to take your ex back. But just make sure you understand what caused the split originally and that you have such a possibility covered if it shows signs of repeating itself.

Philip Gegan

Getting back with an ex is something that most people misjudge. They either think it is ridiculously easy, or they go to the other extreme and think it is nearly impossible.

The truth is somewhere in between. It depends on the circumstances surrounding your split and on the kind of relationship you and your ex had. By finding this article you have shown yourself that you believe your mission is possible, but that you need some help in achieving it. Congratulations. That is exactly the right mind set for your task. But you also need the three “C’s”, and here they are.

1. Common Sense.

Be realistic. Don’t just try and get your ex back to prove it can be done. You have to have a reason. You have to not only still love them enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, but also to believe that it would benefit both of you to be back together. So, for example, if there has been any bullying or abuse in the relationship then you have to accept that you are both better off apart.

2. Courage.

Immediately after the split you may feel your situation is hopeless. This is quite natural, especially if harsh words were said. Don’t feel sorry for yourself or seek to apportion blame. And don’t try to “get back” at your ex, or go to the other extreme of pleading with them to be taken back.

Instead, let your ex know through your behaviour that you are man or woman enough to accept what has happened and to shoulder your share of the blame (even if you consider yourself not to blame for the split – it may be that your ex sees things otherwise).

If you have mutual friends then let them know you still love your ex but that you intend to give them enough space to hopefully reconsider their actions, and in the meantime to become a better person yourself, more like the person they fell in love with in the first place.

If you’re brave enough to face what has happened without breaking down or acting in a desperate manner then that will get back to your ex, who should be impressed.

3. Clarity of Purpose.

This is something that is often lacking in someone trying to get their ex back. So ask yourself some questions. Why do you want your ex back? What action on your part would make the best positive impression on them? How do you see your rekindled relationship developing after the reconciliation?

Plan ahead. Are there any events coming up that may give you an opportunity to be with them? How can they best be made aware of your ongoing concern for their well being? What mutual interests do you have that would justify the occasional contact?

How can you ensure they receive as much positive information about you as possible, including your program for self-improvement? Put yourself in their shoes and consider things from their point of view. If you really love them everything else will then fall into place.

This is the best way to get your ex back. By keeping the flame of hope alive you will soon be well placed to make a more direct move, and the idea of getting back with an ex will no longer seem remote.

Finally, don’t forget to download your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

This may be a lesson in how to get a girl back that anyone could learn. For four years the World’s No. 2 tennis player, Britain’s Andy Murray, dated his girlfriend, Kim Sears, and they even bought a mansion together in Surrey, close to London.

During this time Andy fought his way up through the world tennis rankings, and suffered many setbacks along the way. But all the while his girlfriend was there by his side and giving immeasurable support.

Then in 2009 they split up and Kim moved out of their mansion. Andy carried on with his high-flying tennis career, travelling all over the world, including to Australia, where he made the final of a Grand Slam tournament for the first time (even if he did lose – to Roger Federer, arguably the best tennis player of all time).

But it seems now Andy and Kim are “tentatively” rekindling their relationship, according to a mutual friend. Neither, it seems, had any other serious relationship during the time they were apart, so it may well be that neither can be truly happy with anyone other than each other. Money is not part of the equation.

Let’s hope that this is so, and that they get back together forever, and both become even more successful (Kim is studying English at Brighton University in England).

Philip Gegan