Get Back Together Forever

 
Is there a “best” way to get your ex back? The answer is that there is a best way in your own particular case, but there’s no “one size fits all”. You have to figure out what your best way is and that all depends on a number of things that applies to you and your ex.

Probably one of you walked out, or at least was the main instigator of the split. If it was you, then does that make it easier to get your ex back? Or more difficult? If it was your ex who initiated the separation then was it because of something specific that you did, or was it your general demeanour over a period of time?

Take some time to sit down and think hard about this. Shut off everything else – no interruptions. It may be difficult, but you must do this, and do it as dispassionately as possible. Don’t hurry. Gradually visualise yourself back with your ex, but not as you were before the split, rather as you will be, having put the split behind you.

Think backwards from this stage. Given your distinct personalities, the nature of your relationship before and after the split, and the circumstances in which you are each likely to be living in the immediate future, what is the most likely path to a reconciliation?

Now you can take into account the first of these two golden rules of seeking to get your ex back. This rule is that, whatever action you take, it must be, and be seen as, perfectly natural, as if there couldn’t really be any other outcome but that you and your ex would get back together again.

One essential ingredient of this rule is that you must on no account display weakness. Never plead with your ex to return, or say that you can’t live without them. To do so means, in effect, begging your ex to return for your sake, so you are happy again. By definition, this disregards what your ex wants or is feeling. What about them? How will a reconciliation benefit them? Will they be happy?

To be natural, getting your ex back must be as a result of your ex coming to want that as much as you do. This cannot be forced in any way.

The second golden rule is this. You have to keep your self respect and also do your best to make sure that your ex keeps their self respect as well. This is a highly charged, possibly volatile, emotional time, and it’s easy to make a mistake you’ll come to regret.

So don’t do anything in a hurry. Always think things through carefully. That’s not to say, necessarily, that you should take a long time in reacting to a new development, but you should concentrate on thinking clearly and focus on your longer term objective of getting back with your ex.

Whilst this isn’t a complete guide to getting your ex back, it should set you on the right track to having the best possible chance of success.

Finally, don’t forget to download your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

Advice about letters to get your ex back is all over the internet. Everyone’s an expert (as with every other subject online) and there are as many opinions as there are people writing about it. Except for the people who just copy other people’s writings, of course.

So – should you write any letters to get your ex back, or shouldn’t you? Probably there’s no straight yes or no answer. The important thing is that if you really want your ex back above anything else in the world then you must work to make it an entirely natural process, and not act out of character. And this applies especially to letter writing.

What if you’ve never written a letter in your life? If that’s you then it would probably be unnatural for you to write one now. Most of the advice you see about writing a letter to your ex emphasises the importance of impressing your ex with your sincerity (as well as the quality of your writing paper), but no-one seems to realise there are people who just can’t write well.

So if you normally never write anything, how would your ex react to receiving a letter from you? Would they consider it cynical and insincere, or would they accept it as a token of how serious and sincere you are? Would they appreciate the fact that you’ve taken the trouble to actually write a letter when it must have been very difficult for you? If you seldom write anything then think very carefully before you decide whether to write to your ex. It may be better if you  communicate directly, in person.

But if you are the sort of person who would quite likely write in these circumstances, if you do a fair bit of reading and writing in your day to day life anyway, then it may be natural to write, though it does depend on how you and your ex would normally communicate.

The key test is to know how it would come across to your ex. Of course you can’t know for sure how they are going to react to any proposal you make in your letter, but you’re probably going to know how they would receive the thought of getting a letter from you in the first place – whether they would accept it as being normal and feasible, or whether they would find the thought of it incredulous.

But even if writing doesn’t come naturally to you, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put pen to paper. If speaking in person is your only option you want to make sure that you’re thoroughly prepared, and that you get across all the points you wish to make. You have to be as persuasive as you possibly can, and use all your powers of eloquence and articulation, whilst still being yourself.

By writing down all the points you have to cover, all the reasons why your ex should agree to whatever proposal you have for them, then you can settle them in your mind in an order that you can remember. Then, when it comes to speaking with your ex, you can be at your best and give the most impressive performance that you possibly can.

You see, a get your ex back letter needn’t necessarily be for your ex to read. It can just as easily be for you, to help you get your act together when you have what will be the most important conversation of your life.

Act now to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com.

Philip Gegan

Nearly every guide to getting your ex back assumes that the two of you were in a stable relationship before the split, that suddenly there was a split, and now you’re left wanting your ex back but don’t know where to start. But it’s seldom as straightforward as that.

If every split were like this then it would very often be easy to restore the relationship even if only one party were determined to make that happen. But no two splits are the same, and often the breakup comes as the culmination of a number of crises in the relationship.

Whatever else you do at this stage, you should take some time to reflect on the relationship you had with your ex, whether there were warning signs of what was to come before the split happened, and whether the two of you could successfully re-establish a relationship that didn’t fail again.

What was it that brought you together in the first place? Did one of you work to get the relationship going or did it all come together without any real effort? What do you most have in common with each other? What was the most important, vital, part of the relationship? Was one of you the leader and the other the follower, or did you both play an equal part in decision making?

Why do you want to get your ex back? Make sure you can articulate all the reasons to yourself and it’s not just nostalgia on your part, looking back to the good times and glossing over the bad times. You must be absolutely sure that getting your ex back is the right thing to do. Then you can try and pinpoint exactly what went wrong in the relationship and work out a plan for getting your ex back.

But just as the relationship started naturally all that time ago, so should the reconciliation. It would be fatal to force things along. You need patience as well as determination. Use all the points in your favour, including strength of character, to make yourself as desirable to your ex as you were when you first got together.

This is going to take time, whether it’s two weeks or two months. And it will be a most difficult time. You should tell your ex that you’re going to give them some space and that you won’t contact them for, say, 30 days. If there are children to arrange access for, or personal belongings to be collected then you may have to arrange contact sooner, but tell them that you won’t raise the subject of what happens in the future at such meetings for that period of time.

This move alone will take the pressure off your ex, and they will appreciate it. It will probably impress them with your sincerity and consideration in suggesting that arrangement. And it will give you an excellent excuse for making contact at the end of that period to see how your ex is getting on and if they are agreeable to exploring a possible reconciliation.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

There’s often a kind of magic about a long distance relationship, and  that magic is one of two possible kinds. So the question of how to save such a relationship that is suffering depends on the kind of magic that it has.

What kind of magic has your long distance relationship? Is it the magic that you find in every successful relationship, where you would do anything and go anywhere just to be with the one you love? Where you can be completely at ease and happy just being with your loved one? Where it doesn’t matter what obstacles lie in life’s path, you know you’ll both float over them together because nothing else matters – only your love for each other? This kind of magic is there in spite of the long distance between you.

Or is it the other kind of magic you sometimes find with a long distance relationship? This is the magic that is only there because it’s a long distance relationship, and there’s little or no possibility of meeting up together in the short term. It’s the excitement and “mystery” of having a “secret” lover that your immediate circle of friends and colleagues never, or hardly ever, meet.

This is a dangerous kind of relationship to have in the long term, because at some point you’re going to have to decide whether to undergo a life-changing event to make that relationship more immediate, and delete the “long distance” aspect of it. Perhaps it will be by one of you moving location to live together in a strange town or locality, away from friends and family.

Or if your separation is temporary, even if for two or three years, for example owing to attendance at university or college in another part of the country, or abroad, then at some stage the absent party is going to return and the relationship will face a real test of how it fares when you are both together on a daily basis.

The danger lies in the old sayings of “distance lends enchantment” and “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. When you’re in a long distance relationship it’s easy to forget, or avoid, the little niggling things that your lover does that irritate you. You don’t have to put up with their annoying habits, or risk conflict as you both try to adjust to each other.

If that is what it would be like were the two of you together then the relationship is doomed and not worth saving. So you have to be sure that you and your lover will “gel” together once you are reunited.

If the magic is there in spite of the long distance nature of the relationship then you have a much stronger foundation for a firm union once you are back living together again. So what can you do if, in spite of this, your relationship is under threat, whether or not because of the long distance aspect?

Your best option is to travel the distance to be with your lover in person, even if only for a day or so. Make sure they are going to be free when you arrive, and not, for example, studying for an exam the next day, or going out of town. If you’re the man, send her some flowers ahead of your arrival. If you’re the lady, send him some small gift you know he’ll appreciate, with a note giving your time of arrival.

If travelling the distance is out of the question, use all the means at your disposal to do the next best thing, for example making contact by web cam. Only use the telephone if there is nothing better available at the time.

Whatever you do, get to the root of the problem as soon as possible. Be ready to accept that the procedures used in the past to keep your relationship healthy have failed and you need to make fresh, better arrangements. Sometimes one party can despair at the long distance between you, and may need fresh inspiration and hope. Make sure you can supply them.

Always be optimistic and positive, especially when it comes to saying goodbye for now. Focus on when you will both be together again and make sure your lover does as well. And always remind them of the magic, whatever it is, that holds your relationship together.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

So you’ve cheated on your other half and now you want them back. That’s a bad situation to be in and the question has to be asked, “Is it possible to get your ex back after cheating on them?” If this applies to you right now, read on.

The first point to note is this. Your situation is not as dire as you may think. Plenty of people have won their ex back after cheating on them – it happens all the time. What you have to do now is to thoroughly assess what has happened and the effect it has had on both you and your ex.

The history and nature of your relationship will have a bearing on how your ex has taken the betrayal, and how you should approach them with a view to getting back together. But there are two vital things you have to do to start the process of effecting a reconciliation with your ex, and they are as follows.

1. Express your remorse in a letter

This must be a hand written letter on expensive quality letter-paper, not a hastily scrawled note on a sheet torn out from a notepad. Don’t even think about doing this by email or text message.

In this letter you have to express sincere regret and remorse from the heart, and emphasise how you accept it was all your own fault entirely. Make it clear you are devastated, not for yourself, but for how your ex must be feeling.

Say you would understand if your ex didn’t want to ever see you again, but that you would like  before too long to get back with them. You must also put in what lawyers call “mitigation”, i.e. that it was a disastrous mistake on your part, that you’ve been a fool and that it will never happen again.

Whatever else you put in this letter, don’t try either to blame the third party for instigating the affair (even if that was the case) or to plead for forgiveness and for your ex to take you back. Finish by saying that you don’t want to appear to be pestering your ex, and that you propose not contacting them for 30 days or so in order for you both to have time to think things over.

2. Cut off contact for a while

You’ve said in your letter that you won’t contact your ex for around 30 days, and unless your ex makes it clear that they want contact with you sooner then you must keep to that promise. This is important because it not only takes the pressure off your ex (in that they know they won’t keep getting messages or letters from you begging them to come back) but it also gives you time to reform yourself.

When you embarked on your affair you displayed a weakness of character in betraying your ex. There’s no other way to put it, so you have to face up to that fact. Resolve now that you’re going to follow a different path – one that makes you not only the person that your ex was first attracted to but a better person that your ex cannot help themselves being attracted to when you meet up later on.

Accentuate those qualities that your ex found so desirable in the first place. If it was because you were a “fun” and interesting character then work on that. If it was because you were quiet and a person of integrity then work to make those characteristics more to the fore. Maybe you need improving physically, with a few visits to the gym, or some long distance running. You could look on this as part of your “penance”, and it may even become a long-term habit.

When the 30 days have elapsed you have a good reason to resume contact with your ex, whether by a “get your ex back letter” or telephone (again, not by email or text message). At that stage you want to feel that you have moved on from the affair and have improved your character sufficiently to start what may be a long, hard road towards getting your ex back for good.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

How you can get back with your girlfriend is probably the only thought that stays in your head for days, or even weeks, after she has finished with you. And there’s a burning desire within you – an ache that nothing can do to bring relief – to see her again, to hear her laugh, to feel her touching you.

You have to take control of your emotions and direct your energies towards achieving what you want. And although what you want is to have your girlfriend back again, you have to go deeper than that. You have to make her want to return to you, which means making yourself more desirable to her than you are at this moment.

Most of all at this time you have to do one thing that most people find very difficult. You have to think. You have to take some time to do this, with no distractions or interruptions. Switch off your cell phone and the TV, and unplug your land line telephone. Make yourself comfortable and relax. Allow as much time as you can – at least a couple of hours – so you don’t feel under pressure or in a hurry.

After a while you’ll be able to think dispassionately and objectively. Focus on the situation from your girlfriend’s point of view. Think of all the things she valued in your relationship, and all your characteristics that attracted her to you in the first place. Think of how things were when you were both in love with each other – the things you used to do to make her laugh, the little gifts you gave her and the silly things you liked to do together.

Then ask yourself why she ended all that. It may not be the reason she has given you, and it may be that things between you changed so much that it was a completely different relationship by the time she ended it. If so, why did this happen? Was it something that you did? Or was it some external event? What destroyed the magic?

In particular, how have you changed since you enjoyed her love and respect? How can you change yourself again to the person your girlfriend loved? What was it, above anything else, that made her fall in love with you? Most likely it was how you made her feel about herself. You must have made her feel as if she was the most important person in the whole world when she was with you. She must have felt as if she was having the time of her life.

Why did that change? What exactly was it that happened? Was it a sudden event or a gradual process? Find the answers to all these questions, and all the others that will occur to you, and file them in your memory. Imagine yourself to be, once more, the person that she was so happy with, that she was so madly in love with. How do you need to change so as to become that person again?

Do you need to change your attitude towards her? Perhaps you’d grown to take her for granted, or to ignore her wishes and act in accordance with your own desires only. Perhaps you’ve changed physically, and need to work out regularly in order to attract her once more. But more likely it’s your mental and emotional side that you need to work on.

Once you’ve carried out this exercise (which is good for solving most problems in life, incidentally) then you’ll know what you have to do, and that alone will make you feel much better about the split. You’ll be able to accept what has happened and that things will never be quite the same again, but have the confidence that you know how to win your girlfriend back.

You won’t need to keep looking for the latest set of free tips on getting your ex back any more. Take action on what you’ve discovered about yourself, and an opportunity will soon arise for you to show your girlfriend that you have moved on from the split – into someone whom she can’t help falling for all over again.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

We’ve all read “free tips on getting your ex back” kind of articles and web pages, and they all tend to go over the same ground – give your ex enough space, approach with caution, write them a letter, what to say and not say, and so on.

Let’s have a look at two unusual free tips that you can use – but only if you want your ex back so badly you’ll do absolutely anything (legal) that it may take. Here we go, then.

1. How about writing a love poem dedicated to them?

If you don’t know how to write any poetry, don’t worry. You can find plenty of love poems online that you can copy, legally, or adapt. Or find a classic Shakespearean ode or a poem from one of the other great poets from the past, like Keats or Rupert Brooke.

Simply copy it in your own hand onto expensive paper (that’s very important), acknowledging the authorship but adding a line or two of your own at the end to emphasise how the poem, or extract from a poem, fits your ex so well. Then send it by special delivery. If you can think of an appropriate flower to go with the poem, and you can get hold of one (yes, just one) then include that too.

Imagine how your ex will react when they read it, poem in one hand, flower in the other. If they’re worth fighting to keep, they’ll appreciate all the thought and effort you put into it. And if they had the slightest tinge of regret at the split they’ll be back at your side as soon as they can get there.

2. Send them one of two tickets (the other being yours) to an event you know they’ll enjoy and won’t want to miss. This can save you writing a “Get Your Ex Back” letter.

There must be some kind of event your ex loved to attend or participate in. It could be a sport of some kind, following their favorite team. It may be more artistic, such as a new play or movie just released. Or it could be a more active kind of event where you actually participate (this is best of all), such as an organised hike, charity walk, or even a helicopter ride.

It all depends on what your ex really loved to do, and how much you can afford (though money shouldn’t be too much of an object, should it, if you really want them back). The important thing is that it gives you the opportunity to bond again with your ex, to share excitement and laughter, and even maybe a little danger, together. That’s a surefire recipe for paving the way to a successful reconciliation.

And if the event is some time into the future, don’t despair. The time in between can be used to add anticipation with one or two very brief reminders to your ex not to forget about the event and the date of it and how you’re looking forward to it. Remember that time heals.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

Writing a “Get your ex back” letter is one of the most effective methods of starting the process of winning back your ex. But how do you go about it, and what exactly should you say?

Most likely you’re in a highly emotional state over the breakup, and probably your ex is as well, so you have to be careful not to say or do anything that would make matters worse. So before you send a letter you should draw up a plan.

This should set out what possible responses you might receive from your letter and how you should react in order to make progress in your efforts to bring about a reconciliation. Consider what you should put in your letter, and how your ex is likely to react.

Draft your letter out on rough paper first, so you can make any revisions easily. When you have spent some time on this your letter will be polished and thoughtful, and will be easily seen as being so by your ex.

It is vital you send a hand written letter and not an email or text message. Even a typed or printed letter is going to look and sound too impersonal. It should be hand written on high quality paper. This gives your ex the message that you’ve put a lot of thought into what you’re saying to them, and that they are held in high regard by you.

You should start with an apology for what happened in the breakup. It should be short – just one or two sentences – so the focus of the letter is on what follows. Even if you consider the breakup not to be your fault, you should still apologise – it may be seen differently by your ex – and even if it was really their fault and not yours, making an apology works wonders for having your letter work its magic.

The next paragraph should be an enquiry as to how they are getting on. Nothing too specific – just let them know you’re anxious that they should be coping and on top of the situation as far as possible. Never plead with them to come back or say how you can’t live without them. Weakness never attracts, but strength of character does.

Let them know that you appreciate they need a little space right now. Don’t put them under pressure by making requests or demands for meeting with them for any reason. You could, however, mention that you would love the opportunity to see them for a short while, and that you can be found, for example, every Friday evening at around 8.00pm at a certain place, such as a restaurant, and that if they’d care to join you for a while you’d be delighted, and would arrange a taxi home for them afterwards.

Make it as easy as possible for your ex to say “yes”. You know the individual circumstances of your split and how your ex is likely to take such a suggestion, so make use of that knowledge.

Your letter should end with telling your ex that you’ve found out some very interesting information – or it could be scandalous, or funny, or whatever – that you can’t wait to tell them about, but not in this letter. Don’t make this part up completely, but you may have to be creative here, perhaps by exaggerating some event involving mutual friends. Just make sure that when you actually do tell them it doesn’t come as a damp squib.

Always attach a P. S. Make it something short, such as saying you saw a mutual acquaintance recently and they wanted to say hello.

There’s no doubt that a hand written letter like this, on high quality paper, is an awesome tool to use in trying to save a relationship. You shouldn’t expect immediate results, of course, but it will undoubtedly impress your ex with your sincerity in wanting them back and your desire to atone for any past wrongdoings. That being so, you should at least receive a reply, and you can take it from there.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

“How to save a broken relationship” – that’s some question, and if we all knew the answer the world would certainly be a happier place. So you’re absolutely certain your relationship really is broken? Well, don’t despair. Things that are broken can often be repaired. Here are three things that you absolutely must do as soon as possible after the “breakdown event”.

1. Say you’re sorry – even if it’s not your fault.

Tensions are high, emotions have boiled over, maybe tears have been shed. Both of you feel hurt and wronged. But you’ve decided (not, perhaps, that you had any doubt about it) that you don’t want to lose your other half. You want them back, badly.

You may well succeed, but there’s a price to pay, and an apology is the first instalment. Perhaps the breakup wasn’t your fault, and it may even seem most unjust that you are the one apologising, but you have to do it.

If you’re in the wrong, you may already have done this, but there’s no harm in doing it again unless it would be unnecessary overkill on this issue. It helps clear the air ready for your next step. And if you’re not in the wrong then it will underline to your ex how sincere you are in wanting them back (and remember – they may think you are in the wrong even you think you’re not).

If you can, apologise in person, verbally. If this isn’t possible then write your ex a letter. Which brings us to the next thing you have to do.

2. Write your ex a letter, but don’t be too intrusive.

You must give the impression that you’ve accepted, for the moment, that the two of you are separated. If you haven’t had the opportunity to apologise then do so in the first paragraph. You don’t need to make it long and drawn out. Just a simple apology and note of regret for anything you may have said or done is best. And an expression of hope that you can still remain friends.

Then change the focus swiftly to your ex. Ask if they are getting along all right, and if there’s anything you can do to assist. You may feel that this question will be ignored, and quite possibly it will be, but your ex must feel that you still care about them and want to know they are coping.

In the closing lines, ask if they would be prepared to meet with you for a drink and a chat, even if just to sort out any outstanding matters (though you would use such a meeting to start a process of winning them back).

It’s important that this letter should be hand written by you – not printed off a computer or sent by email, text or SMS – so as to show you are sincere and to make it more personal. It takes more trouble to hand write a letter than to knock it off on a word processor. It’s more personal and hopefully it’s more pleasing on the eye.

3. Carry on with your normal activities as much as possible.

At this vital stage you have to give an impression of strength, not weakness. Continuing your usual social and work activities helps do that while doing nothing against your ex. It also helps you take your mind off the breakup. Your ex will most probably get to hear of your activities from time to time, and the knowledge that you are getting on with your life will probably impress them.

This will give you a strong position from which to approach your ex later with a proposal that you start getting together to work out your differences and hopefully to rekindle your previous relationship.

Accepting that the relationship has broken up (for the moment) and that things are different may be hard, but it is the only way to then start on the road to a reconciliation.

Now you’ve read this far, you’ll want your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan