Get Back Together Forever

Why have I put this in quotes? Simple. There’s such a lot being written at present about “how to win an ex back“, “how to get a girl back“, “how to win a guy back” and every possible combination of terms. And much of this “advice” is coming from people who really have no idea of how to actually go about something as delicate and emotionally charged as this.

You can often distinguish between this phoney advice, from someone whose only interest in the subject is to make as many sales of one of the various ebooks available online as they can, and someone who genuinely wants to help you.

The phoney advice is nearly always generic, i.e. is dispensed as if everyone were the same and would react in exactly the same way to any given set of circumstances. For example, several sites I’ve visited recently advise anyone who has recently been “dumped” (what a horrible term!) by their partner to make no attempt to contact them for several days at least in order to “give them space”.

This may be good advice in many cases, but it cannot in every case, and possibly not in your own. It all depends on so many variables – what kind of person your ex is, what kind of person you are, what kind of relationship you had, where each of you live, whether you work together, and a host of other things.

The trouble is that we are all human, and we all have our individual idiosyncrasies. Thank goodness we do, for that makes us truly human, and without it life would be intolerable. But it means that a course of action on your part to start the process of restoring the relationship might work for one kind of person but not for another.

Remember that when you read someone else’s take on what you should do if your lover has left you, they may be only interested in funnelling you through to the sales page of the ebook they are selling. That itself doesn’t necessarily render their advice of no value, but also bear in mind that much of what you read will be generic advice, good on the face of it but which may be quite inappropriate to your own broken relationship or the emotional make-up of your ex.

Only you can be the judge of that.

Philip Gegan

What if your ex wants to get back together, but you’re only just getting over being dumped by him or her the last time around?

What do you do? It’s tempting to welcome them back and look forward to a resumption of your former relationship, but is that a good idea?

Enough of the questions, now for some answers.

In this situation your ex is either showing they have discovered their error and can’t wait to get back with you and put the unfortunate episode behind them, or they’re treating you with a lack of respect and showing no sympathy for what you’ve recently been through at their behest.

You have to consider the kind of person they are. If they are wholly genuine in their outlook on life and attitude towards other people then you may feel inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt, but even then you should still seek to discuss with them first a way of avoiding a replay of what has so recently happened.

And if they are not quite so straightforward, then you may feel it best to at least keep them waiting a while so you can think about things. At worst you may think it unwise to risk putting yourself through the wrangle again.

You need to think clearly. What was it that brought you both together in the first place? Was it something a little more than just physical attraction? What was it that caused the split? Why does your ex now want to get back together?

Ask your ex these questions, and ask yourself as well. See how their answers compare with your own. If you take your ex back where do you see the relationship going from then onwards? Discuss it with your friends. How would they see it? Would they be supportive or would they think you were mad?

Good luck if you do decide to take your ex back. But just make sure you understand what caused the split originally and that you have such a possibility covered if it shows signs of repeating itself.

Philip Gegan

I’ve just been viewing a site on relationships that makes one or two really refreshing suggestions for anyone with a relationship problem.

Such as deciding for perhaps a day to do away with all negative thinking and comments. Make everything positive, even if you’re really up against it. Don’t depress your other half, or whoever you’re with during the day, with boring, negative remarks. Make everything positive, even if it turns out to be funny because of that.

That only makes things better. Try and develop your own sense of humor, whether it’s a gentle humor, a dry wit, or anything in between. That makes you more interesting and relieves the tension that may have been building up around you.

Philip Gegan