Two Vital Things To Do To Get Your Ex Back For Good

From the time you realise you and your ex have split up, you’re on a mission to win them back. But where do you start? And how long will it take? This article shows you how to handle the situation.

Are you desperate for things to do to get your ex back? You feel helpless yet desperate to do something at the same time. This is where so many people go wrong and make a bad situation worse by doing something to try and force their ex to return immediately.

In most cases the best course of action requires a lot of patience and determination. You have to accept that your goal is most likely going to take some time. Probably your ex isn’t going to return the first time you express your wish that you both get back together, but that doesn’t mean they won’t come back to you eventually.

Use This Valuable Time

One of your greatest fears at this time is that your ex will find someone else and start dating them. This sometimes happens, but remember that relationships formed like this, “on the rebound”, seldom last long. It’s most unlikely that your ex will find themselves a long-term partner in the couple of months after your split.

That gives you valuable time to do the first of two vital things to get your ex back. The first is to formulate a plan of action by doing some serious thinking. Many people simply don’t know how to go about this, but it is really quite straightforward.

Tell any friends or family you are going to be “incommunicado” for a while, for example a morning or an afternoon. Lock the door, turn off the TV and your cell phone, and make sure you’re not going to be disturbed for this period. Make yourself comfortable, and sit down or lie down to relax completely. Now think.

It’s easy to let your mind wander or to become distracted. So no distractions – concentrate on thinking about you and your ex, how you met, how it was when you were with them, what held the relationship together, and how you came to split up.

Was it a traumatic event, such as one of you catching the other one being unfaithful? Or was it something that took time to develop, such as a gradual realisation that the love between you was dying? Did it involve a third party? Was it something that neither of you had much control over, such as one of you having to relocate because of a job move?

What kind of people are you? Are you both much the same, whether outgoing and confident, or introspective and shy? Or perhaps you’re both quite different, in which case did this have a positive or a negative effect on your relationship?

The Answers Will Come To You

No doubt there are other possible similarities and differences that may apply in your particular case, but these should get you thinking along the lines of finding a way to get your ex back. The answers to all these questions will determine how you approach possibly the most difficult and delicate task of your life.

Next, consider what is your strongest point in helping you get your ex back. How can you use it? Consider a number of different approaches and what your ex’s reaction is likely to be to each. If you think for long enough you’ll be able to see a way through.

Most people take action without giving it sufficient thought. That’s like firing a gun without taking aim – no matter how powerful your firepower you’re unlikely to hit your target.

Take Effective Action

And that’s the second vital thing – to take effective action. When you do so you’ll be confident you’re going about things correctly. You’ll know the best way to get your ex back, how much time they’ll need to accept your suggestions, and, most importantly, how to keep your ex with you.

Finally, don’t forget to download your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

Getting Your Ex Back     No Comments »

Is It Possible To Get Your Ex Back After Cheating On Them?

So you’ve cheated on your other half and now you want them back. That’s a bad situation to be in and the question has to be asked, “Is it possible to get your ex back after cheating on them?” If this applies to you right now, read on.

The first point to note is this. Your situation is not as dire as you may think. Plenty of people have won their ex back after cheating on them – it happens all the time. What you have to do now is to thoroughly assess what has happened and the effect it has had on both you and your ex.

The history and nature of your relationship will have a bearing on how your ex has taken the betrayal, and how you should approach them with a view to getting back together. But there are two vital things you have to do to start the process of effecting a reconciliation with your ex, and they are as follows.

1. Express your remorse in a letter

This must be a hand written letter on expensive quality letter-paper, not a hastily scrawled note on a sheet torn out from a notepad. Don’t even think about doing this by email or text message.

In this letter you have to express sincere regret and remorse from the heart, and emphasise how you accept it was all your own fault entirely. Make it clear you are devastated, not for yourself, but for how your ex must be feeling.

Say you would understand if your ex didn’t want to ever see you again, but that you would likeĀ  before too long to get back with them. You must also put in what lawyers call “mitigation”, i.e. that it was a disastrous mistake on your part, that you’ve been a fool and that it will never happen again.

Whatever else you put in this letter, don’t try either to blame the third party for instigating the affair (even if that was the case) or to plead for forgiveness and for your ex to take you back. Finish by saying that you don’t want to appear to be pestering your ex, and that you propose not contacting them for 30 days or so in order for you both to have time to think things over.

2. Cut off contact for a while

You’ve said in your letter that you won’t contact your ex for around 30 days, and unless your ex makes it clear that they want contact with you sooner then you must keep to that promise. This is important because it not only takes the pressure off your ex (in that they know they won’t keep getting messages or letters from you begging them to come back) but it also gives you time to reform yourself.

When you embarked on your affair you displayed a weakness of character in betraying your ex. There’s no other way to put it, so you have to face up to that fact. Resolve now that you’re going to follow a different path – one that makes you not only the person that your ex was first attracted to but a better person that your ex cannot help themselves being attracted to when you meet up later on.

Accentuate those qualities that your ex found so desirable in the first place. If it was because you were a “fun” and interesting character then work on that. If it was because you were quiet and a person of integrity then work to make those characteristics more to the fore. Maybe you need improving physically, with a few visits to the gym, or some long distance running. You could look on this as part of your “penance”, and it may even become a long-term habit.

When the 30 days have elapsed you have a good reason to resume contact with your ex, whether by a “get your ex back letter” or telephone (again, not by email or text message). At that stage you want to feel that you have moved on from the affair and have improved your character sufficiently to start what may be a long, hard road towards getting your ex back for good.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

Relationships     No Comments »