Get Back Together Forever

 
Do you want to get your ex girl back more than anything in the world? Would you pay all your money and worldly possessions just to have her back? Would you move to the other side of the world, even to the South Pole, just to spend the rest of your life with her?

Only if you answered “yes” to all these questions can you really be sure that you love her with a love that will endure for a lifetime. And if you love her that much then there’s little that can happen to stop you getting her back before very long.

First, though, be sure that it really is love, and not some infatuation, or a desire not to have your pride hurt. Do you see your future together as one in which she is happy, in which she is to be cared for by you but without being smothered, in which the only thing that matters is that she lives a fulfilled life, and your only pleasure is in knowing that you are the one responsible for giving her such true happiness?

If this is so then you’ll feel a kind of emptiness without her. Life won’t have any meaning until she’s back. It’s not a physical yearning so much as an emotional imperative – something noble that transcends ordinary human affairs like a space shuttle flying high above a caravan site.

Does this really describe your feelings for your ex girl? If you’re still thinking “yes” then good – there’s every chance she could easily put your former relationship on the same plane, and that she will come back to you if you just get your approach right.

And to do this you have to obey these three cast iron rules.

1. Maintain your self-esteem at all times.

Not so long ago she looked up to you on account of your personality and demeanour. Whether or not the cause of your split involved a change in these things, make sure the characteristics that attracted her to you in the first place not only survive unscathed, but are even stronger.

Always put yourself in a position of strength, not weakness. That means not pleading with her to return, or pestering her through phone calls and the like. Tell her you accept the blame for what has happened (even if it wasn’t all your fault), that you’re sorry you caused her such distress, and that you’d be honoured if you could remain friends.

There’s no reason why any reasonable person – one that you’d want to spend your life with – wouldn’t graciously accept such a proposal.

2. Tell her you’ll give her some space.

It may well be that your ex girl doesn’t actually want a permanent split, even though that’s what it looks like right now. She may just want a little time on her own to think things through, especially if you have been seeing a lot of each other, or there was some specific cause for the rift.

It’s tempting to engineer occasions when you’ll be together so you can try to persuade her to return, but avoid this at all costs – it would only make matters worse. Give her the space she needs, even though you’re wanting your ex back like mad, and tell her you’ll desist from contacting her for, say, a month. This will send her estimation of you soaring. Keep to that deal, and by the end of it she’ll probably be looking forward to hearing from you again.

3. Write her a letter.

Put all this in writing in a letter. Why a letter? Because it works. Not an email or text message, but a letter hand written on good quality writing paper. And if you’re not sure how to set it out, there are templates available to help you.

Follow this advice, and keep your integrity, to get your ex girl back once she’s had time to realise you really are the one for her after all.

Philip Gegan