Get Back Together Forever

 
Is there a “best” way to get your ex back? The answer is that there is a best way in your own particular case, but there’s no “one size fits all”. You have to figure out what your best way is and that all depends on a number of things that applies to you and your ex.

Probably one of you walked out, or at least was the main instigator of the split. If it was you, then does that make it easier to get your ex back? Or more difficult? If it was your ex who initiated the separation then was it because of something specific that you did, or was it your general demeanour over a period of time?

Take some time to sit down and think hard about this. Shut off everything else – no interruptions. It may be difficult, but you must do this, and do it as dispassionately as possible. Don’t hurry. Gradually visualise yourself back with your ex, but not as you were before the split, rather as you will be, having put the split behind you.

Think backwards from this stage. Given your distinct personalities, the nature of your relationship before and after the split, and the circumstances in which you are each likely to be living in the immediate future, what is the most likely path to a reconciliation?

Now you can take into account the first of these two golden rules of seeking to get your ex back. This rule is that, whatever action you take, it must be, and be seen as, perfectly natural, as if there couldn’t really be any other outcome but that you and your ex would get back together again.

One essential ingredient of this rule is that you must on no account display weakness. Never plead with your ex to return, or say that you can’t live without them. To do so means, in effect, begging your ex to return for your sake, so you are happy again. By definition, this disregards what your ex wants or is feeling. What about them? How will a reconciliation benefit them? Will they be happy?

To be natural, getting your ex back must be as a result of your ex coming to want that as much as you do. This cannot be forced in any way.

The second golden rule is this. You have to keep your self respect and also do your best to make sure that your ex keeps their self respect as well. This is a highly charged, possibly volatile, emotional time, and it’s easy to make a mistake you’ll come to regret.

So don’t do anything in a hurry. Always think things through carefully. That’s not to say, necessarily, that you should take a long time in reacting to a new development, but you should concentrate on thinking clearly and focus on your longer term objective of getting back with your ex.

Whilst this isn’t a complete guide to getting your ex back, it should set you on the right track to having the best possible chance of success.

Finally, don’t forget to download your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

So you’ve cheated on your other half and now you want them back. That’s a bad situation to be in and the question has to be asked, “Is it possible to get your ex back after cheating on them?” If this applies to you right now, read on.

The first point to note is this. Your situation is not as dire as you may think. Plenty of people have won their ex back after cheating on them – it happens all the time. What you have to do now is to thoroughly assess what has happened and the effect it has had on both you and your ex.

The history and nature of your relationship will have a bearing on how your ex has taken the betrayal, and how you should approach them with a view to getting back together. But there are two vital things you have to do to start the process of effecting a reconciliation with your ex, and they are as follows.

1. Express your remorse in a letter

This must be a hand written letter on expensive quality letter-paper, not a hastily scrawled note on a sheet torn out from a notepad. Don’t even think about doing this by email or text message.

In this letter you have to express sincere regret and remorse from the heart, and emphasise how you accept it was all your own fault entirely. Make it clear you are devastated, not for yourself, but for how your ex must be feeling.

Say you would understand if your ex didn’t want to ever see you again, but that you would like  before too long to get back with them. You must also put in what lawyers call “mitigation”, i.e. that it was a disastrous mistake on your part, that you’ve been a fool and that it will never happen again.

Whatever else you put in this letter, don’t try either to blame the third party for instigating the affair (even if that was the case) or to plead for forgiveness and for your ex to take you back. Finish by saying that you don’t want to appear to be pestering your ex, and that you propose not contacting them for 30 days or so in order for you both to have time to think things over.

2. Cut off contact for a while

You’ve said in your letter that you won’t contact your ex for around 30 days, and unless your ex makes it clear that they want contact with you sooner then you must keep to that promise. This is important because it not only takes the pressure off your ex (in that they know they won’t keep getting messages or letters from you begging them to come back) but it also gives you time to reform yourself.

When you embarked on your affair you displayed a weakness of character in betraying your ex. There’s no other way to put it, so you have to face up to that fact. Resolve now that you’re going to follow a different path – one that makes you not only the person that your ex was first attracted to but a better person that your ex cannot help themselves being attracted to when you meet up later on.

Accentuate those qualities that your ex found so desirable in the first place. If it was because you were a “fun” and interesting character then work on that. If it was because you were quiet and a person of integrity then work to make those characteristics more to the fore. Maybe you need improving physically, with a few visits to the gym, or some long distance running. You could look on this as part of your “penance”, and it may even become a long-term habit.

When the 30 days have elapsed you have a good reason to resume contact with your ex, whether by a “get your ex back letter” or telephone (again, not by email or text message). At that stage you want to feel that you have moved on from the affair and have improved your character sufficiently to start what may be a long, hard road towards getting your ex back for good.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan