Get Back Together Forever

This may be a lesson in how to get a girl back that anyone could learn. For four years the World’s No. 2 tennis player, Britain’s Andy Murray, dated his girlfriend, Kim Sears, and they even bought a mansion together in Surrey, close to London.

During this time Andy fought his way up through the world tennis rankings, and suffered many setbacks along the way. But all the while his girlfriend was there by his side and giving immeasurable support.

Then in 2009 they split up and Kim moved out of their mansion. Andy carried on with his high-flying tennis career, travelling all over the world, including to Australia, where he made the final of a Grand Slam tournament for the first time (even if he did lose – to Roger Federer, arguably the best tennis player of all time).

But it seems now Andy and Kim are “tentatively” rekindling their relationship, according to a mutual friend. Neither, it seems, had any other serious relationship during the time they were apart, so it may well be that neither can be truly happy with anyone other than each other. Money is not part of the equation.

Let’s hope that this is so, and that they get back together forever, and both become even more successful (Kim is studying English at Brighton University in England).

Philip Gegan

 
Is there a “best” way to get your ex back? The answer is that there is a best way in your own particular case, but there’s no “one size fits all”. You have to figure out what your best way is and that all depends on a number of things that applies to you and your ex.

Probably one of you walked out, or at least was the main instigator of the split. If it was you, then does that make it easier to get your ex back? Or more difficult? If it was your ex who initiated the separation then was it because of something specific that you did, or was it your general demeanour over a period of time?

Take some time to sit down and think hard about this. Shut off everything else – no interruptions. It may be difficult, but you must do this, and do it as dispassionately as possible. Don’t hurry. Gradually visualise yourself back with your ex, but not as you were before the split, rather as you will be, having put the split behind you.

Think backwards from this stage. Given your distinct personalities, the nature of your relationship before and after the split, and the circumstances in which you are each likely to be living in the immediate future, what is the most likely path to a reconciliation?

Now you can take into account the first of these two golden rules of seeking to get your ex back. This rule is that, whatever action you take, it must be, and be seen as, perfectly natural, as if there couldn’t really be any other outcome but that you and your ex would get back together again.

One essential ingredient of this rule is that you must on no account display weakness. Never plead with your ex to return, or say that you can’t live without them. To do so means, in effect, begging your ex to return for your sake, so you are happy again. By definition, this disregards what your ex wants or is feeling. What about them? How will a reconciliation benefit them? Will they be happy?

To be natural, getting your ex back must be as a result of your ex coming to want that as much as you do. This cannot be forced in any way.

The second golden rule is this. You have to keep your self respect and also do your best to make sure that your ex keeps their self respect as well. This is a highly charged, possibly volatile, emotional time, and it’s easy to make a mistake you’ll come to regret.

So don’t do anything in a hurry. Always think things through carefully. That’s not to say, necessarily, that you should take a long time in reacting to a new development, but you should concentrate on thinking clearly and focus on your longer term objective of getting back with your ex.

Whilst this isn’t a complete guide to getting your ex back, it should set you on the right track to having the best possible chance of success.

Finally, don’t forget to download your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan

Nearly every guide to getting your ex back assumes that the two of you were in a stable relationship before the split, that suddenly there was a split, and now you’re left wanting your ex back but don’t know where to start. But it’s seldom as straightforward as that.

If every split were like this then it would very often be easy to restore the relationship even if only one party were determined to make that happen. But no two splits are the same, and often the breakup comes as the culmination of a number of crises in the relationship.

Whatever else you do at this stage, you should take some time to reflect on the relationship you had with your ex, whether there were warning signs of what was to come before the split happened, and whether the two of you could successfully re-establish a relationship that didn’t fail again.

What was it that brought you together in the first place? Did one of you work to get the relationship going or did it all come together without any real effort? What do you most have in common with each other? What was the most important, vital, part of the relationship? Was one of you the leader and the other the follower, or did you both play an equal part in decision making?

Why do you want to get your ex back? Make sure you can articulate all the reasons to yourself and it’s not just nostalgia on your part, looking back to the good times and glossing over the bad times. You must be absolutely sure that getting your ex back is the right thing to do. Then you can try and pinpoint exactly what went wrong in the relationship and work out a plan for getting your ex back.

But just as the relationship started naturally all that time ago, so should the reconciliation. It would be fatal to force things along. You need patience as well as determination. Use all the points in your favour, including strength of character, to make yourself as desirable to your ex as you were when you first got together.

This is going to take time, whether it’s two weeks or two months. And it will be a most difficult time. You should tell your ex that you’re going to give them some space and that you won’t contact them for, say, 30 days. If there are children to arrange access for, or personal belongings to be collected then you may have to arrange contact sooner, but tell them that you won’t raise the subject of what happens in the future at such meetings for that period of time.

This move alone will take the pressure off your ex, and they will appreciate it. It will probably impress them with your sincerity and consideration in suggesting that arrangement. And it will give you an excellent excuse for making contact at the end of that period to see how your ex is getting on and if they are agreeable to exploring a possible reconciliation.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

So you’ve cheated on your other half and now you want them back. That’s a bad situation to be in and the question has to be asked, “Is it possible to get your ex back after cheating on them?” If this applies to you right now, read on.

The first point to note is this. Your situation is not as dire as you may think. Plenty of people have won their ex back after cheating on them – it happens all the time. What you have to do now is to thoroughly assess what has happened and the effect it has had on both you and your ex.

The history and nature of your relationship will have a bearing on how your ex has taken the betrayal, and how you should approach them with a view to getting back together. But there are two vital things you have to do to start the process of effecting a reconciliation with your ex, and they are as follows.

1. Express your remorse in a letter

This must be a hand written letter on expensive quality letter-paper, not a hastily scrawled note on a sheet torn out from a notepad. Don’t even think about doing this by email or text message.

In this letter you have to express sincere regret and remorse from the heart, and emphasise how you accept it was all your own fault entirely. Make it clear you are devastated, not for yourself, but for how your ex must be feeling.

Say you would understand if your ex didn’t want to ever see you again, but that you would like  before too long to get back with them. You must also put in what lawyers call “mitigation”, i.e. that it was a disastrous mistake on your part, that you’ve been a fool and that it will never happen again.

Whatever else you put in this letter, don’t try either to blame the third party for instigating the affair (even if that was the case) or to plead for forgiveness and for your ex to take you back. Finish by saying that you don’t want to appear to be pestering your ex, and that you propose not contacting them for 30 days or so in order for you both to have time to think things over.

2. Cut off contact for a while

You’ve said in your letter that you won’t contact your ex for around 30 days, and unless your ex makes it clear that they want contact with you sooner then you must keep to that promise. This is important because it not only takes the pressure off your ex (in that they know they won’t keep getting messages or letters from you begging them to come back) but it also gives you time to reform yourself.

When you embarked on your affair you displayed a weakness of character in betraying your ex. There’s no other way to put it, so you have to face up to that fact. Resolve now that you’re going to follow a different path – one that makes you not only the person that your ex was first attracted to but a better person that your ex cannot help themselves being attracted to when you meet up later on.

Accentuate those qualities that your ex found so desirable in the first place. If it was because you were a “fun” and interesting character then work on that. If it was because you were quiet and a person of integrity then work to make those characteristics more to the fore. Maybe you need improving physically, with a few visits to the gym, or some long distance running. You could look on this as part of your “penance”, and it may even become a long-term habit.

When the 30 days have elapsed you have a good reason to resume contact with your ex, whether by a “get your ex back letter” or telephone (again, not by email or text message). At that stage you want to feel that you have moved on from the affair and have improved your character sufficiently to start what may be a long, hard road towards getting your ex back for good.

Finally, don’t forget to claim your free Guide, “3 Letter Templates That Work
Like A Charm To Get Your Ex To Agree To A Date” from http://www.getbacktogetherforever.com

Philip Gegan